About Nick & Matt
Aspergers people have significant strengths and traits that are often overlooked in general media. They are logical thinkers who excel in science, maths and the arts. They do well in professions such as accounting, arts and engineers. Aspergers people are great at giving advice and opinions based solely on facts free from social and personal prejudice. They judge people on ‘who’ they are rather than ‘what’ they are. They are good at seeing details that others overlook and can be perfectionists. They are generally honest people who respect authority.
Normal is what the majority decide. In our house, the majority are autistic and that has become our ‘normal’. We do not view autism as ‘defective’ or a ‘disability’ but as a different way of thinking. Therapy is crucial for development and self esteem but is only a tool and cannot be viewed as a way to gain a cure. You cannot cure autism as it is part of the person and the essence of who they are.
For Nicholas, being Aspergers affects him in his social and communication skills. He suffers from great anxiety as he finds the world quite confusing and requires structure, routine and predictability to help him cope. Nicholas cannot read facial expressions or tones of voice which means he is often inappropriate in how he relates to other people. He also has difficulty with ‘theory of mind’ and doesn’t understand other people have feelings and emotions. He also has sensory processing issues with a heightened sense of smell and hearing. Often Nicholas will place his hands over his ears as he finds noises too uncomfortable and finds listening to music difficult to process. Nicholas has difficulty making eye contact and will become ‘overloaded’ if pushed to communicate and make eye contact at the same time.
Nicholas is often thought to be naughty by people who do not understand Aspergers. To be happy he needs instructions to be very clear and concise, conversation to be free from hidden meaning, to be able to predict what is coming next, visual supports to help him process information and therapy to help him understand what is expected from him and how to understand other people. Nicholas is a perfectionist whose anxiety and fear of failure will stop him from trying new things.
For Matthew, being Autistic affects him also in his social and communication skills. He is developing functional language and communicates by screaming, crying and basic two and three word combinations. Matthew has learnt imaginative play skills and through a therapy program has realised people can be interesting and displays naturalistic eye contact. Matthew has many sensory processing issues and requires a ‘sensory diet’ to help regulate his body response to his environment. He is ‘brushed’ by a plastic surgical brush for deep pressure input and desensitize his skin, Matthew finds many fabrics intolerable and prefers to be naked, brushing hair and teeth can be difficult for him, he requires deep pressure input through massage, layering of coats, weighted vests and being wrapped tightly in blankets. Verbal instructions can be confusing for Matthew and they need to supported by visual aids (pictures that explain the activity or function).
Matthew is showing great strength in cognitive ability and his progress is showing great promise. The best progress is Matts ability to play with peers. He has developed a friendship with a child in his special school who is also autistic. When they see each other they smile, lots of eye contact, hug and literally jump for joy. They take turns playing and will sit and enjoy games together. These relationship skills are starting to emerge when playing with other children. I particularly love that Matt is taking a caring role with his older brother.
An example being:
Matt gave me his drink bottle and said “more juice please” and after being given it ran off. He quickly brought me a red drink bottle (the colour his brother liked) and said “get it Nick” and I filled it with juice. Matt then ran to Nick with the bottle , passed it to him and said “there you go Nick” and continued with his play.
My boys are gorgeous kids and so much more than a medical label attached to them. My dearet wish is that they will be viewed by what they CAN do rather than what they CAN’T do.
